A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to go see a premiere of Courageous at the Fox in downtown Atlanta. My wife and I looked forward to the evening out and knew it was going to be a blast. The movie is phenomenal. More on that soon. I’m going to write a review of it, and I encourage you to see it when it comes out on September 30th.
Anyway, we got to the Fox before the doors opened up. We followed the line that snaked around the north end of the building and around the corner.
We waited for a bit. The line inched forward slowly. It was warm outside, but we were OK. We get to the corner and an older couple comes walking toward us coming from the direction of the entrance. They see the line turn the corner and disappear 20-30 feet away. The man says to the woman. Well, we already waited in wrong line. They did an about face and planted themselves right in front of me and my wife.
Immediately, I thought this would make an interesting snarky post. Perhaps I could list the top ten reasons:
1) You’re the Music Minister of an SBC and you’ve got the hair to prove it.
2) You regularly tithe more than the young couple who just joined the church. (Where is that young couple anyway? They’re always serving during the worship service)
3) You earmarked some funds to the choir robe fund (making it impossible for that money to ever be used for anything except choir robes)
4) Even when a hymn is sung directly out of the hymnal, you still think that it is contemporary music because there’s a guitar on stage. In protest, you’ll stand but not sing. And you will definitely not smile.
5) You know and perhaps own your own copy of Robert’s Rules of Order.
6) You made a point at the last business meeting that you’re seeing far too many people using their phones or electronic tablets during the service. When informed that Bibles are now electronic you announced that God’s Word is meant to be KJV and red lettered.
7) You have your own seat in the same pew each Sunday. In fact, you’ve already ordered a brass plate that will be attached on the pew for when you die.
eight) You drove your wife to Joann’s Fabric so that she could purchase some new fabric for the Lion of Judah banner that she’s been commissioned by your Sunday school class to make. (BTW, See my post on the worst church banner ever created) (DID YOU KNOW THAT IF YOU DO THE NUMBER 8 FOLLOWED BY A ) you get 8) – Who knew?)
9) You don’t understand why there isn’t an alter call each week.
10) Your kids go to the local non-denominational mega church.
OK, so I admit… most of these reasons have NO relevance to cutting in line at a Christian Movie Premiere. But then again, maybe they still apply.
Any others that I missed?